From the recording Kray Van Kirk - Live at the Acorn
On the way to London we landed in Newark at midnight for a show at the Borderline Folk Club. The hotel was only a few hundred yards from the airport, and yet we spent hours trying to get there. The GPS was of absolutely no use, there was construction everywhere with the attendant lack of road signs, and I was utterly unable to navigate a road system with more than two lanes and a few miles of road. We ended up on the New Jersey turnpike three times. The third time through the tollbooth, the ladies working there stopped laughing long enough to have us turn around and get into the opposite lane, complete with very specific instructions and the command "Now honey, I will smack you if I see you again!". They were very nice to us, and I promised to write them a song.
Lyrics
THE TOLLBOOTH LADIES
Kray Van Kirk
(c) Midnight Commander Music
The night was warm and the sky was clear as we sank down through the air
But soon we were lost and wandering, through streets that did not care
The onboard navigation, I swear had gone insane
Sending us in circles, through streets that had no name
Then suddenly we saw them, with New York on our right
Light lay all about them, pushing back the lonely night We came into their presence, and tried to find our way
Turned off the navigator, to hear what they would say
They were the tollbooth ladies, those goddesses of the night
Tollbooth ladies, when you're going wrong, they'll set you right
It was in the asphalt jungle, I was lost as I could be
Tollbooth ladies, tollbooth ladies, rescue me
The second time we saw them, they laughed and said not quite
Though it's nice to see you here again, you missed some lefts, you missed some rights
Now listen to my preaching, and do not deviate
And you will reach your destination, before it gets too late
They were the tollbooth ladies, those goddesses of the night
Tollbooth ladies, when you're going wrong, they'll set you right
It was in the asphalt jungle, I was lost as I could be
Tollbooth ladies, tollbooth ladies, rescue me
The third time that we saw them, they made us turn around
Edna said "I will smack you, if you stay lost and don't get found"
"You're headed for Manhattan", so she lifted up her hand
And showed to me the road that headed into the Promised Land
I said I can't get there from here...
Well, I looked out and I saw their light from the window by my bed
It wasn't very far away, I could have walked instead
But I left my grateful fingerprints, pasted to the glass
And fell asleep while I was clutching, a Jersey tollbooth pass
They were the tollbooth ladies, those goddesses of the night
Tollbooth ladies, when you're going wrong, they'll set you right
It was in the asphalt jungle, I was lost as I could be
Tollbooth ladies, tollbooth ladies, rescue me